Cabin Fever

I've been feeling really pent up and ready to get out and do things. In fact, there are a million things on my to-do-list just around the house that I wish I could get done. I have cabin fever but, it is not because of the weather (that has gotten a lot nicer). I'm just feeling stuck in my body. So I'm trying to follow a letter from my brain http://www.waiting.com/letter.html . It helps remember to slow down and recover, (even if it doesn't look like there is anything wrong with me). The doctor told me it would be a good year to recover from the surgery and symptoms caused by my brain being squished inside my head (I'm 4 months post-op). Dr. Rosner said it may take even 2 to 3 years. I worry how much I will recover with it being squished for so long! But I try not to think too long on that and stay positive and optimistic. There are so many with this who are worse off.

Can you say Chiari? (key-are-ee)

Too much brain to contain!

This isn't my MRI but similar to mine (see how the back, lower portion of the brain has little room and is squished against the skull, with little black area (CSF) around it). If you want to have some brain discussion read on (I have researched a lot and actually find it all interesting :) ).

The main parts of the brain that are affected include the brain stem, which is the connection between your brain and spinal cord: it controls all your basic bodily functions needed for survival (breathing, digestion, heart rate, blood pressure, etc.) and for arousal (being alert and awake). The other part of my brain that is squished is the cerebellum which controls balance and muscle coordination (not just with walking but with things like talking). The forum magnum is the space where this all is connected to your spinal cord, where in me it is tight and CSF (brain and spinal fluid) is blocked. The forum magnum is THE passage way for all your nerves and spinal cord from your brain down. So overall it is a very important area ha ha. (Kind of freaks me out having someone working in there, less than a half inch of space...the surgeon sneezes...oops).

It is interesting to me to learn about all this and to thus understand all my seemingly unrelated symptoms. I am amazed at it all and I'm always impressed how much of a miracle it all is to have gotten this diagnosis and the God-given ability my neurosurgeon has, not to mention his sheer drive to help his patients (I need a separate post for that---he's amazing...the Brain Whisperer). I am amazed by the wonderful body Heavenly Father has given each of us, the miracle of how the brain and everything works. How could it all be without an intelligent designer?

When people ask how I am I try not to go into a lot of detail. Not many people who say, "How are you?", are really looking for more than one word answer anyways. I tell them I'm having more good days than bad, and that the good are getting better and the worst are getting less. Overall it is up and down but all on an upward slope. And that is really how I am doing. I try to be patient with a bad day and enjoy the good days.


The symptoms come and go too...right now I'm struggling with irritability and mood swings (no it's not PMS), and with insomnia again. My back and neck pain has been remarkably better until this week when my neck has all cramped up. I'm glad my hip pain has subsided quite a bit and the weird fire ant feeling all over hasn't returned since the first of the year (the nurse told me that was my nerves coming back online so I looked at it as a good thing, though it kept me up for days and drove me insane!). So that is a view into my life no one else really sees. So if you made it this far in the post, I hope I haven't bored you with it all!